Icky The Cardboard Geek

It's here! Finally!

I got an email from FedEx yesterday saying that a package for me was scheduled to arrive today and when the details said "GP Manila" I knew it was my cheque!

So I got home just now and there it was, and even though I know that I won and I knew that it was coming, it gave me a sense of realism when I held the cheque in my hand. I thought to myself, "I won $500 for playing a card game!" muahahahahahaha :-p

It's a different feeling, for me at least, after winning a tournament, and after receiving the prize. When I won a 160GB Apple TV in a side event tournament during Pro Tour KL, after winning the last round, it was exciting, but after holding the Apple TV in my hands, it was like "whoa!"

I think that it's the whole prospect of, as I mentioned earlier, getting rewarded for playing a game that I love. Thinking back to my first tournament, I have definitely gone a long way.

Call me a loser if you like, but I've been playing Magic for 10 years now! 10 freaking years!

I may be a super cardboard geek, but at least I'm happy :-)

My first "success" of winning something "big" was a side event at Grand Prix KL, I think it was in 2002. It was nothing great, just a little side event, but I had gotten my 1st ever 1st place finish! The prize was just a box of boosters (RM320 retail) but it was just so exciting for me!

I'm happy at where I am right now, and although I don't expect to be a full time pro player (because there's just no money in that), I do hope to be playing in higher level events.

Things I have to do before I can quit playing Magic:-

- Win a Nationals Championship trophy
- Top 8 a Grand Prix

- Top 8 a Pro Tour

- Qualify and play in Worlds under the National Team

Ambitious? You bet, but if I don't set a goal, I won't achieve anything!

Oh well, current goal right now? Pass my exams... hahaha

Take care and have a nice day!

Kau Pijak Hatiku Lagi

Waktu kita sama sambut hari lahir
Ku berikan dia hadiah bunga

Cantik, engkau memang cantik
Izinkan aku menatap wajahmu lagi
Cantik, engkau memang cantik
Izinkan aku menatap wajahmu lagi

Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi

Tinggi harapanku buatmu
Tak ku sangka ia hanya setengah jalan
Jika memori kita disimpan di dalam cakera
Kan ku mainkan sampai bila-bila

Cantik, engkau memang cantik
Izinkan aku menatap wajahmu lagi
Cantik, engkau memang cantik
Izinkan aku menatap wajahmu lagi

Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku lagi

Pijak hatiku lagi
Pijak hatiku lagi
Kau pijak hatiku
Pijak hatiku lagi

Empty Decorations

Just read her blog. Once again I feel like I'm at her mercy and disposal. I don't feel like I deserve to be in this position once again.
When I first found out and asked her to just please end it, somehow I was the one who had to try harder with my gestures.
When I couldn't forgive her for what she did because it was just too difficult, I don't know how I ended up being the guy asking for forgiveness.
Once again I don't know how I ended up being in this position. Somehow, this time, she's the one finding it hard, for what? To be with me. Now it's a phase. I stood by through it all, through everything, but still I'm being put right here in this position, where I do not want to be.

You may wonder why I put up through all of it, and my answer is simple, that's what love does to you, but I do not know where this love of mine will take me. I fought for what I believed, for the feelings I feel so deeply, so it cuts me deep to be losing to her "growing up".

Perhaps my luck's run out. Maybe she's grown up and realized that I'm nothing special and she could do better then me. What do I have anyways? Just an overweight card game addict with 4 papers waiting to be failed.

She said she's gonna try, and I'm gonna wait and see...

Lagu Untukmu

Tiada bintang
Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicelah
Bagaiku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri
Aku tetap begini
Takkan berubah kerna aku tetap aku
Dan lalu rindumu bukanlah aku

Guna hati, akal dan fikiranmu
Berbeza
Kau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Apakah aku
Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan
Yang dikawal oleh jari-jarimu
Ku punya hati dan perasaan
Pernahkah engkau fikirkan
Cukup cukuplah oh cukuplah

Guna hati, akal dan fikiranmu
Berbeza
Kau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Tak faham tak tahan
Sabarku tak tertahan
Melayan sikapmu perawan
Berbeza-berbeza
Kau dan aku berbeza
Kita memang tak serupa
Bebaskan bebaskan
Ku ingin dilepaskan
Kita tidak sehaluan
Cukuplah sudahlah
Sampai di sini saja
Hubungan kita berdua

Guna hati, akal dan fikiranmu
Berbeza
Kau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Sometimes...

How hard could it be? You asked the same of me so you must know how this feels.
Why is it so important?

Why?

...............................................................................................

KAMI

And so I wrote an entry yesterday, but it was so depressing that I decided to just close my PC and go out instead. I like going out alone occasionally, so what if I'm a loner sometimes...

So I went to Pyramid and decided that a movie might help cheer me up. Then I remembered that KAMI The Movie starts playing at the cinema first day of raya! I immedietely decided that I'm gonna watch it, cos, I was looking forward to it, and, well, I barely know anyone who'd be happy in watching it with me, haha (c'mon people, support the local industry!)

I'll admit, I have not been watching the TV series much, in fact, I think I watched it like once, but I really liked it that one time I watched it, and I'm always up for checking out a Malaysian made movie that looks different. So I went in and watched it.

And I loved it!

I'm not gonna go on and write a short summary, but, if you've got the time and chance, go check it out! I'm happy to see that our movies are getting better and so is our music industry :-)

Politics, Racism and all that bullshit aside, I love this country!

My hari raya has been pretty good as well, I'm having a good time (and alot of good food!)

Although I'm a little late, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to everyone! To everyone who I've done something wrong to, or who hates me (namely everyone on my previous list...), please forgive me... sempena Aidilfitri ini, ku pohon maaf zahir dan batin.

Take care and have a nice day.

And Tomorrow

And Tomorrow

Today is filled with anger
Fueled with hidden hate
Scared of being outcast
Afraid of common fate
Today is built on tragedies
Which no one wants to face
Nightmares to humanities
And morally disgraced
Tonight is filled with rage
Violence in the air
Children bred with ruthlessness
Because no one at home cares
Tonight I lay my head down
But the pressure never stops
Gnawing at my sanity
Content when I am dropped
But tomorrow I see change
A chance to build anew
Built on spirit, intent of heart
And ideals based on truth
And tomorrow I wake with second wind
And strong because of pride
To know I fought with all my heart
To keep my dreams alive

-Tupac Amaru Shakur-

That's one of his poems fom The Rose That Grew From Concrete, lots of good ones in there but this is one of my favourites.
I just realized today that he died 12 days, 12 years ago. Makes me wonder sometimes what would happen if he was still around. Would he still be successful? It's a whole lot of pressure coming out with good new material all the time, not to mention people's taste keep on changing. But then again, if he's still around, Kanye would probably be producing some of his songs! Hip Hop just evolves that way, haha.

Whatever it is, he's part of the reason why lyrics is very important to me, and with the love I have for poetry right now, I must say, I've been inspired.

Take care and have a nice day.