Empty Decorations

Just read her blog. Once again I feel like I'm at her mercy and disposal. I don't feel like I deserve to be in this position once again.
When I first found out and asked her to just please end it, somehow I was the one who had to try harder with my gestures.
When I couldn't forgive her for what she did because it was just too difficult, I don't know how I ended up being the guy asking for forgiveness.
Once again I don't know how I ended up being in this position. Somehow, this time, she's the one finding it hard, for what? To be with me. Now it's a phase. I stood by through it all, through everything, but still I'm being put right here in this position, where I do not want to be.

You may wonder why I put up through all of it, and my answer is simple, that's what love does to you, but I do not know where this love of mine will take me. I fought for what I believed, for the feelings I feel so deeply, so it cuts me deep to be losing to her "growing up".

Perhaps my luck's run out. Maybe she's grown up and realized that I'm nothing special and she could do better then me. What do I have anyways? Just an overweight card game addict with 4 papers waiting to be failed.

She said she's gonna try, and I'm gonna wait and see...